Tender Mercies STILL come to those who seek Him

As I was pondering last night I posted this on Facebook last night:  "So, as I was laying by Matt tonight...pondering the eve of my miscarriage eight years ago...I was feeling great joy in that my Heavenly Father finally let me keep this little boy! After eight years, two miscarriages, and so much sadness...Matt didn't replace my two little ones...but rather made my life complete! As i had a sweet confirmation again tonight, that the veil is thin and my sweet spirits are waiting and they know that I still long for them! I'm truly blessed!"   

With all that being said, my emotions were running high last night (on the eve of my miscarriage) eight years ago I had a miscarriage when I was 17 weeks pregnant.  I was a little more sensitive, a bit more doubtful and laying by my sweet Matthew with tears running down my cheeks last night... I was simply thankful for him.  For God blessing me with him.. after two miscarriages, such heartache, despair, depression, questions, doubts, etc... My Heavenly Father blessed me with Matthew! He was an answer to my prayers at that time in my life.  For eight, long, exhausting years I prayed and poured out my heart in anguish to my Heavenly Father.  Why couldn't I have just held my babies, given them a name, a blessing, why must life had been taken so early.  My dreams for my babies shattered before I could even really fully develop them in my mind.  Matthew has helped me heal, in a way, I believe that no one else could.  I had such doubt in my mind about gospel principles, not if the gospel is true, never doubted that.  Just that there was no doctrine to follow and cling too, I had to rely on faith, revelation and inspiration from my Heavenly Father that all will be well, be still and know that I am God, and have FAITH. I have never in my life relied on revelation so much.   Those three things I have held onto since those miscarriages.  But last night was different, I was feeling vulnerable and yet had such gratitude in my heart.  A feeling of peace that is hard to explain.  As I was kissing Matt, tears streaming down my face... he looked at me... and said, "I'm thankful for the spirits"... now this may mean nothing to the average person.  But only I was having thoughts of my babies, my sweet spirits, at that exact moment.  I made him repeat it and he did, but that was because I was a bit confused that Heavenly Father would whisper to me in that way.  I was reminded that the veil is so thin and that my Heavenly Father knows me, and will wipe away all my tears along with my  fears, questions and doubts... if I just have faith.  So, I went and got my scriptures and started reading Alma 32 again.  It is amazing and I have found great strength in these verses.  But last night I read something new, something hadn't caught my attention until last night. 

 In Alma 32: 23, "And now, he imparteth his word by angels unto men, yea, "not only men but women also.  Now this is not all; little children do have words given unto them many times, which confound the wise and the learned."

I was deeply touched by his words. It was a beautiful night of feeling my Savior's arms around me, again! I was reminded of the things that I had learned on my journey. 

- I was gently reminded that My Heavenly Father knows me and hears me, even when I'm not necessarily asking, he knew I needed answers to calm my soul. 

-That I am a daughter of God.  I don't know why I forget, why I have doubts, but Satan does eventually sneak in.  I was reminded in the gentle words of a father... all is well... always remember and have faith, my daughter. 

-That Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. That I need to rely on him more to lift me up when I'm feeling low and have such doubt.

-Tender Mercies do happen, but I must recognize them as such, and let that build my faith.

-That God will send people to me to help lift me and help me... it may even be a four year old little boy. But I must do my part and listen.

-I'm grateful for the principle of Eternal Families and knowing that I will have my family throughout all eternity.

I'm so grateful for last night.  For listening and being able to hear the sweet, soft voice whispering (again)... "All is well"... I may need reminding again in the future but I know who to turn to for answers, for guidance and direction. I'm so thankful for revelation and knowing EXACTLY what I need to know during different times in my life... that my Heavenly Father will come to my aid, if I but ask. My heart is full and I'm truly blessed.

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